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Ray, i feel far away from you.

Ray, i do not know how you are doing.

Ray, it feels like nothing can buffer the physical distance between you and me. life is not easy here and must not be there either, and maybe it also seems to you that it is shrinking to the necessities of the local to an absurd point where even the local is not possible anymore.

Ray, i am going to meditate soon and salute the 4 directions.

Ray, i am ok, not dying of covid, so i am grateful for that.

claude


Coupures aux programmes francophones à l’Université Laurentienne

C’est avec le cœur lourd que nous apprenons la nouvelle qu’à la fin du mois, plus de quarante programmes en français à l’Université Laurentienne subiront des coupures. Parmi ceux-ci comptent les études françaises, le théâtre, la musique, le programme d’éducation, le programme d’environnement et développement durable, et plusieurs autres. C’est une perte immense pour notre communauté, pour le secteur culturel, pour l’âme de Sudbury.  

Il va sans dire que nous éprouvons une grande gratitude envers les professeurs qui ont su faire vibrer la langue française par l’entremise de leurs enseignements à l’Université Laurentienne. Nous tenons aussi à exprimer notre solidarité auprès des étudiants et des organismes communautaires et culturels qui sont touchés par ces changements dévastateurs.

Malgré ces nouvelles désolantes pour la francophonie du Nord, nous n’abandonnons pas. Nous continuerons de lutter avec passion et conviction pour une éducation francophone à notre image. ❤️

 

Pour plus de détails, visitez:

ONFR+

Radio-Canada

CBC Sudbury


de la part de claude

hey Ray,

thank you very much for your sharing. you shared a photo of yourself. here are some of me:

with my building behind me (unfortunately my unit is on east the side where any sunlight is blocked by condo buildings around)

April 8, 2021

April 9, 2021

a lot has happened in my housing advocacy during the last weeks, in parallel with trying to get back to health. i am almost there but Toronto is in a covid exponential nightmare and it is quite scary to belong to the oversensitive, low-weight, high-risk, disabled in that context.

life is really a very precarious thing, such that sometimes i wonder what the fuck we are doing trying to invent layers and layers of mind and of activities that have nothing to do with heart or the basics of care.

yes food is sacred, but does this exclude that sometimes it becomes a dark teacher, one that hurts?

i do not know what my spirit color is. blue was my favorite color as a kid, but later on, even if i still saw colors they had no vivid individualized presence; they were overstimulating or meaningless or too attached to what others would say they are or just representing form. now, through meditation, i start to be able to differentiate them again and to experience them sometimes slightly independently from the shape they are in. rarely. please tell me more about colors.

i hope you are ok. i often think of you, but not writing to you made me feel further, less connected, less part of your life too.

take care,

claude


de la part de Ray

currently my main direction is to get myself to Paris in 2023 or 2025. For this I am completing a project of 40 portraits of people that i admire or love – the significant people in my life. This is a vehicle which will win me a senior artist grant the OAC Chalmers award. The work shall be exhibited in 2 or 3 galleries in Sudbury and Peterborough i have a record of exhibitions and installations to support my application, including a recent major installation of sculpture at the McKewen School of Architecture in Sudbury.

Regarding food as sacred: I believe that everything is sacred. In Overeaters Anonymous I am learning a new found respect for food. The First Nations see food as medicine. They also believe that in everything there is moderation. This is a spiritual approach to the planning, preparation, cooking and eating of food. Not unlike the preparations in building a fire. Speaking of fire which has a spiritual agency, do you have a candle?

How am I? – healthy, happy …..

 

 

My favourite colour is yellow. It is my primary colour of spirit. Whenever I am dealing with matters of spirit in a painting, you will find yellow somewhere. All the other colours are my playground. I am a colourist foremost rather than one of form. Yes, I surround my self with my poetry: my favourite paintings & drawings. My entire home is a workshop/playshop.

To be continued – amitie – ray

 

 


de la part de claude

Ray, i feel the need to spontaneously reply.

please tell me about you. do you have your poetry around you? what colors do you resonate with? what direction is the one which speaks the most to you right now? is food always in the sacred spot of your heart?

Ray, how are you?

claude


de la part de Ray

Regarding building a new life: you can build it anywhere, at anytime and with complete and utter freedom.
It is good that you are recovering from your infection. Are you eating well? food is essential not evil. Any thing can become evil or dangerous if not treated with respect, including food.
How is your social and spiritual nutrition? Loneliness can be a soul killer.
Your environment is key too. Is it filled with your poetry? That is your poetic objects, images and creations. Is there colour? If not it is a good idea to have your exterior surroundings align with your new internal vitality.
Your last post sounds like you are heading in the right direction.
Keep on keeping on – with respect and affection – ray

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Ray,

i am almost back to my pre-infection « normal » with the teaching that well, i have to commit to life if i want to continue to live. maybe i have to abandon my project to build a chosen family around me? do i?

today is new moon and i want you to know that you have a power of spirit that travels distance. the « you are not alone » in your last post resonated very loud when i read it and it still does when i look at the post again. it is like the words jump at me. the post is printed on paper and it is around me all the time.

these words of yours make me feel i am in an old massive beautiful building that echoes human voices just like when you sit on top of a mountain and every shout echoes from the mountains around. massive masses of granit chanting with you.

maybe it is because you anchor every of your words at the very deep level my soul can automatically trust. it is rare.

i am grateful.

yes, i would like to visit Sudbury but it feels like i won’t be able for long and then it might be « too late ».

you are there, in Sudbury. it is Saturday morning. my phone tells me your sky is cloudy. i wonder what you are doing and where your mind and hearts are. i wonder what is the direction that teaches you the most today. i wonder whether you can feel my heart and compassion for us human beings this morning.

i wonder how food appears to you this morning. is it

life

pure matter

atoms and molecules to digest

potential for hurt

a dark hole of distraction

an endless isolator

a suitcase of sensations

a dark cloud of overstimulation

a dangerous link to spirit

an enemy

a weapon

a taboo?

 

i send love to you and my gratitude,

claude

 

 

 

 

 


de la part de Ray

Pain can make you forget what you know claude, your last report was difficult news. Are your spirits strong? I pray and smudge that they be enlivened. In your words, the phrase of: « the place of can’t is a glorious place to start. Start exactly where you are and just be. You are brilliant, so I imagine you feel deeply frustrated and disappointed.

Claude: go into that feeling of frustration and see it for what it is  – an aspect of fear.  seeit for the illusion that it is. You have your experience, intelligence and awareness to call on,
with all these setbacks, are you finding any delight or moments of calm?
as an artist you thrive on colour, pattern and intelligent design; and loving kindness and social nutrition – like that kind and respectful doctor and nurse.
In all your current hardship please know: You are not alone.
Yes, our spirits, hearts, minds and bodies resonate with each communication. Thank you for  your openness, directness and honesty.
it is time to remember that you are enough and that you are resilient. Once you were strong. Ibelieve you can love yourself back into life. Again.
all the best – amitie – ray

 


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Ray,

you ability to hear me and respond on the same wavelength is tangible and i want to express my felt gratitude. thank you Ray.

thank you also for sharing more of your vulnerability. you allow me to step closer and let my heart, body, mind, spirit resonate with your words, hopefully with you.

and before i go into more of a reply to your words, i need to preface with this: over here, i am near unable, weak, with urinary tract infection and symptoms of burn out and the universe keeps sending me bad news or information i can’t handle in that state. so, i am learning a lot too. and, yesterday i learnt that going to the doctor and being taken care of felt like the « social nourishment » you were talking about: the nurse touched my arm (nobody touched me since august last year);  i was heard by my very nice doctor body/mind together; my friend Simlâ came to the clinic to pick me up.

 

you say you can’t sort out emotions right now.

i say i can’t either and i am learning how much work that usually is.

is this place of « can’t » the best spot for us to learn what our path is?

does it force us to accept the current process?

is the sorting out of emotions (ours and that of others probably) part of the self-punishing?

with love,

claude

 


de la part de Ray

food – pain – feelings

dear Claude

At this time, sorting out emotions is difficult for me. Your stories about pain and suffering are arriving at the same time that I am struggling with similar themes that I am delving into with the Overeaters Anonymous program. I am being re-introduced to old stories of abuse, abandonment and rejection from my family of origin. I am learning so much and I am trying too hard to understand and communicate. Trying too hard is a habit I learned as a child from living in a pressure cooker run by one demanding, punishing parent and an emotionally unavailable one. It is one of the root causes of my anxiety. You wonder what life is in Sudbury?

It is a friendly place, you should visit some time.
This project of discovering new relationships is causing me  to think about our respective situations. Thank you for your storie of your struggles with underlying pain, feelings and food.
claude, You come into my life at a wonderful intersection of three new people: Suzanne from Overeaters Anonymous who brings stories from family of origin that are brave, wise and courageous,  Jamie, who is making a new home, brings stories of adventure and perseverance. And you,
It is a very rich, complex yet difficult time. I am learning so much.
Regarding artwork: i do some journaling. And some of these themes are showing up in my family portraits project.
I  leave you with a quote from a meditation audio i am currently listening to:  « It is time to stop punishing yourself for the patterns that are the result of a spiritual starvation ».
all the best – amitie – Ray
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