de la part de claude

Ray,

merci.

j’écrirai plus plus tard de nouveau, mais, pour le moment, je veux juste te dire que je suis content à l’idée d’un téléphone bientôt et te rassurer que je ne suis pas sans-abri en ce moment. excuse-moi si mes mots ont apporté de la confusion à ce sujet.

amitié,

claude


de la part de Ray

I have been struggling with my response to your last blog. You are facing a monumental struggle – a lonely struggle. What can I say to deflect some of that pain? I was left stunned by the enormity of the homelessness situation and so many deaf ears incapable or unwilling to listen. Currently I am helping someone to transition from hospital to a home – a decent one i hope. and still on that idea , i miss my solitude.-my space. You said you were not an emerging personality.

You said in your blog that you were not an emerging personality, nor a young personality. Do you mean by this that you are an old soul having wisdom beyond the years of life lived. Or do you mean that you are on the road to realizing your true self?
It’s good that you hear ‘her’ voice – sounds like one of the internal voices of compassion. that i believe is a voice that comes from your seat of awareness -from the depths of your concsciousness – you loving yourself – a good thing
Yes we can talk on the phone and it can be recorded for workability.
the turtle is of rock and steel wire construction. Been making them for about 5 years I send you warm feelings and encouragement
– All the best -Ray

de la part de claude

Ray,

thank you for checking in and for your good thoughts. they are appreciated. i have had a very strange week. right now, different sources in my body bubble words and my mind does not know which one to observe and let flow. if i let them all flow more or less simultaneously, this is what comes out….

 

gratitude for tenderness or principle of mediocrity. sound, light. clouds. my or your molecules, here or there, or their molecules, floating or grabbing, onto and towards, tree, water, moon, wind. if and when. 17 Paton Road expropriation by the City? you are loosing you time he said. there has never been a community anyway. Chief Building: « i am very happy with the situation ». building empty. homeless people in tents. one eviction every 3 min. poverty reduction strategy: a strategy to reduce the poverty of the state, not ours. pathologization of poverty and homelessness. this is how homosexuals and trans people have been pathologized after being criminalized. systemic oppression is dark. hospitals ICU full, disabled people triaged, end of the line. where is « home »? what do you want? material. blood, breathing. hands. skin. roof, food, bicycle, yes. now. her voice. her pace. her gentleness. i heard her on the phone. my cells are nourished. still, fears? winds between my fascia layers, sticking to the deep incarnated shame. that deep layer that i can’t exhale. feel it. face it gently. take it. shake. below. wait. she is a ghost that follows and stops you. is it bad? maybe what she thinks is exactly what will happen. principe of mediocrity. can we be afraid together? Ray, i am not an emerging personality. i am not a growing personality. sharing vulnerability is my practice as a human being. or it is me, as transparent as can be. maybe.

 

i send love to you Ray.

i am looking forward to when you will get the cellphone i have now ready in my hands for you. maybe you will agree to send voice recordings of some posts rather than a written version. i like hearing the voice of people.

what is your turtle commission?

claude


Merci aux artistes du Zoom Louvre 2020

Alors que le Zoom Louvre tire lentement à sa fin, la GNO tient à remercier les artistes qui ont fait de cet évènement un franc succès. La pandémie menaçait notre tradition annuelle, mais grâce à notre communauté et avec l’aide de plusieurs partenaires, la GNO a su célébrer le temps des fêtes en grand, virtuellement!

Merci aux artistes qui on contribué à la vente d’oeuvres:

Pina Dibenedetto, Nadine Bariteau, Gloria Bell, Jan Browning, Kathy Browning, Raymonde Béland, Julie René De Cotret & Jefferson Campbell-Cooper (JuJe), Anthony Chezzi, Michelle Cieloszczyk, Shirley Cockburn, Robert Courchesne, Catharine Cribbs, Mercedes Cueto, John Debreuil, Laura Demers, Simone Desormiers, Véronique Doucet, Nick Dubecki, Anyse Ducharme, Sonia Ekiyor-Katimi, Michael Fernandes, Claudine Gagné, Sue Gamble, Doug Goodale, Vincent Groulx, Debra Ireland, Bob Jeffery, Chloé LaDuchesse, Mariana Lafrance, Sue Lampinen, Ron Langin, Ray Laporte, Marguerite Laurin, Denise Levesque, Amanda Lindenbach, Bennett Malcolmson, Alice Malykh, Irvin Marshall, Carmen Martorella, Tyler Matheson, Geneviève & Matthieu, Suzanne McCrae, Kim McKibbon, Gary Moratz, Sheri Nault, Lori Paradis, Liz Peekstok, Jennie Philipow, Sasha Phipps, ee Portal, Nicole Poulin, Sharon Preen, Isabelle Ratté, Ruth Reid, Linda Renaud, Stéphane Robert, Alanis Rodriguez, Alexander Rondeau, Jamie Ruddy, Adrienne Scott, Maria Simmons, Lulu Soleil, Paulette Stewart, Colette Thériault, Rita Tremblay, Jason Walsh, Bill Whittaker, et claude wittmann.

Et merci à tous ceux qui se sont joints à nous pour fêter, chanter, grignoter, jaser (et surtout rire!) sur Zoom le 18 décembre dernier.

 

  

Oeuvres par Mariana Lafrance, Rita Tremblay, et Michelle Cieloszczyk.


Du nouveau à la GNO!

La GNO accueille Laura Demers, qui fait maintenant partie de l’équipe en tant qu’agente aux communications et au développement.

Laura œuvre dans le domaine des arts visuels depuis 2014; elle a travaillé au Musée des beaux-arts du Canada (Ottawa) et The Power Plant (Toronto), entre autres. Elle est artiste, écrivaine, et commissaire émergente, ainsi que co-fondatrice de la galerie the plumb à Toronto.

L’équipe désire aussi remercier Maude Bourassa Francoeur pour son énergie et pour les efforts qu’elle a contribué à la GNO depuis 2019. Nous lui souhaitons le bonheur et le succès!


de la part de Ray

Sorry to hear that relationships within your family are distressing for you. Christmas time is a danger zone where the politics of original relationships fall into a kind of playwhere people can become trapped into continuing to play out a role created many years in the past. for an emerging or growing personality it can be quite punishing.

I googled butoh. it seems quite rigorous. It looks like something one would have to be quite dedicated to learn its ways.
I have been a little bit lazy regarding my turtle commission. I’d rather have the freedom of paint. I do want to complete it before month’s end. I wish you peace on your journey – ray

de la part de claude

Ray,

i just looked at the blog on the GNO’s website and discovered that somehow all the spaces between paragraphs have been omitted! i do not know why and how this happened. i will look into it and try to change that.

thank you for sharing the teachings of the Medicine Wheel. they have been with me and also they have not, out of respect for you and for them, out of concern about appropriation and also out of commitment to my own practice, which is possibly rooted in my regular meditation and in the butoh teachings i got between 2000 and 2005.

butoh is now seen as a form of dance (and it has been very unfortunately appropriated by Western dancers), but it originated in Japan in the 1960’s as a post-war new and complex philosophy of personal and social identity, and of movement. in the teachings i received, there was a commitment to gravity and the body as teachers, a certain kind of common sense type of materialism and i can attest that it is when i try to « sense » the directions, in my present materiality moment, that i feel i can walk life.

in your post, you suggest a phone call to discuss, as you beautifully say, « our various understandings on matters of the spirit ». do you envision this as a recorded phone call which we would post here or as a private phone call?

now, what will i say next?

it seems that there is a need to drop into « materiality », to share that my past week has been full of gestures towards housing and ODSP activism. i worked a lot, too much actually and with depressing material and news, which led to diarrhea when i was for too long on the computer. all this was and is an escape to recoil from revisiting the « family » hurt around christmas, an attempt to live with unresolved questions i thought i could find a beginning of solution to, and a renewed commitment to work towards systemic change.

we need capital funds for social housing, not only (modular) « supportive » housing that coerces people to accept services that might not work for them.

we need a Ministry of Children, Community and Social Services that increases social assistance rates, rather than hypocritically fill its coffers with income, CERB and CRB clawbacks, and balance budgets by sending disabled people to work.

we need solidarity.

we need interdependence.

we need chosen families.

with warmth to you Ray,

claude


de la part de Ray

Each Direction has a colour, spirit animal, a medicine, represents an element and has a teaching regarding a specific value or characteristic.
so it follows that:
East is yellow
the Spirit Animal is the Eagle
it’s medicine is Tobacco
It represents the element Air
it’s teaching is about Respect, Honesty and Trust
Also because it is the Eastern gate, where we enter the Medicine wheel, it is known as the Land of New Beginnings
We turn left, once we have considered the teachings of the Grandfathers of the East and enter the southern door or gate:
South is red
the Spirit Animal is the Deer
it’s medicine is Cedar
It represents the element of Mother Earth
It’s teachings are about Loving-Kindness
Continuing to the Western door we enter the
Land whose symbolic colour is black
the Spirit animal is The Thunderbird
It’s medicine is Sage
I represents the element of Water
It’s teachings are about Generosity, Gratitude and Sharing
To the north we enter the land
whose colour is White
whose Spirit Animal is the Bear
that represents the element of Fire
and it’s teachings are about Courage, Bravery and Strength
i was not taught about the strength to understand and the strength to forgive but I have come to believe that their place in the wheel is here.
when i pray, it is for these values on behalf of myself and for others in my life. I ask for strength in all my domains: spirit, heart, mind and body. i also have come to believe that my ancestors and friends and family that have departed to the western gate, guide me along with the Creator.
i also deepen my understanding of loving-kindess in my reading of Buddhism and in the knowledge of Christ that i am learning at my united church.
Perhaps some time on the phone we can discuss our various understandings on matters of the spirit. It is central for you as it is for me
for now I send you thoughts that gentle your spirit and heart and begin to convey the manifestation of a thriving personal reality – all the best claude – ray

de la part de claude

Ray,

 

your words have arrived in me and they have touched me with a very unique and never-experienced-before power. nobody ever told me they were welcoming me in their heart domain. what a gift. right now, i feel i have encountered your spirit and i feel i have been held without the fear of taking your space. thank you.

 

my being trans today was to wonder if i should book an appointment with Service Ontario to continue my journey of changing my name and my gender on my identity papers. at Service Ontario it would be for my OHIP card (would be good if i end up in hospital because of covid) and my driver’s license. this process of changing my name started on may 4 with a request for a Change of Name sent to the Ontario Registrar. it took 3 back and forth and 3 stamps and signatures from my MPP as commissioner of affidavits for the Registrar to be happy with my application and then, the amazing Registrar’s office sent me a Certificate of Change of Name with a mistake…. so, i sent it back and then it took another few weeks until i got the correct one. what relief when i finally got it. now, i am trying to have my new name (claude) on my identity papers and this is another « interesting » process. maybe you also changed your name and know what this is.

 

i have meditated outside, with the 4 directions, every day before breakfast for probably 10 years now and more recently before dinner too. my experience tonight:

Eastern direction? yes, let my red thread slightly undo this unknowable story in your head.

Southern direction? yes, listen to the screams.

Western direction? yes, humour.

Northern direction? yes, i am no judge.

 

Ray, your turn. Please, if it is ok with you, tell me more about your relationship with the 4 directions. And anything else you would like to share today.

 

Gentleness to you,

claude